‘I wanted to keep living’

Editor’s Note: Kayla’s Korner will be a reoccurring column that deals with mental health and teenage issues. This is the seventh of an eight part story.  

August 7 was the day. It was my discharge day.

It was just a normal day. Since I was now in Intensive Outpatient (IOP), the whole day was only about three hours. It began with open where we all just talked about what was going on in our lives.

Towards the end of open, the clinician that was running the session turned to me and asked me to talk to the group about my plans for after this and what I had learned.

What had I learned here?

The answer was a lot.

I had learned that I was never really alone and that others were going through the exact same thing I was. I learned different coping strategies when I got anxious or depressed. Most importantly, I learned that things can get better.

Before I entered the inpatient facility, I had no hope for myself. I thought nothing could get better and the only solution would be harming myself. But now, on my discharge day, I knew there were good things to come.

I knew I wanted to keep going. I wanted to keep living.

I told the group this, explaining how the inpatient facility and High Focus had really truly helped me.

The group all stared at me and listened. I felt good sharing my thoughts as there were some new people that had just gotten to High Focus and probably just wanted to leave.

I hoped that I would reach them and by speaking from someone who had underwent treatment — if you work hard in recovering, then you would see good results.

Following open, we did another group. I don’t exactly remember it, but I know it went pretty quickly.

The last group session was art therapy. This was my favorite session to do at High Focus. It relaxed me and I thought it was perfect to end everything with.

We were all just coloring and then my discharge ceremony began. My clinition came in and started the ceremony.

One of my friends read a paper that congratulated me. Then, I had to answer some questions about my time at High Focus and what I had learned.

After this, we went around the room to each person. They would speak about me and wish me luck. The friends that I had made would talk longer than others.

It made me really happy.

Next, I received a certificate with my name and the date I completed High Focus. It was attached to a poster where all my friends at High Focus had wrote on with short, sweet paragraphs. Since I was leaving, they were allowed to give me their social media and phone numbers.

Then, it was all over. I hugged all my friends.

And then I left. I would never see that building or some of those people ever again.  

Coming next: Kayla explains her life now post the inpatient facility and High Focus.