(Editor’s note: Smoke Signal sports writer Robert Saul suffered three severe concussions while playing youth football. Consequently, he has been advised to play only non-contact sports and participates in cross country and baseball.) 

The ball was in mid-flight, and I was running the same play I had practiced a hundred times before.

I realized the ball was too far ahead of me, and I decided to dive for it. It dropped right through my hands, and I hit the ground.

Hard.

The next thing I remember is all of my football coaches walking me off the field, and onto the sideline, where my mom waited for me with considerable concern.

As I walked to the car and went to the hospital, I realized that all I remembered from my trip from the field to the car was me telling my mom, “I’m messed up.”

Or at least that’s what I think I said.

I sat in my hospital bed in the emergency room of Hackensack hospital, three hours or so after the original incident. If I am being perfectly honest with you, I do not recall my doctor or my parents actually telling me that I had a concussion, but I knew very well that there was something wrong. My parents later tell me that the doctors have diagnosed me with a severe concussion.

Two days later, school resumed, but I didn’t go, as I could not concentrate without getting a headache.

If you did not know before, when you have a concussion, you are light-headed, dizzy, have major headaches, sensitivity to light, poor coordination, constant brain rest, and are constantly nauseous and possibly even throwing up. I felt these symptoms for two months after the initial diagnosis. Additionally, I missed the entire first trimester of school due to my concussion. In fact, I missed so much school my teachers didn’t even bother to give me any make-up work.

This was the third concussion in my life.

This is my story about concussions. There are countless other ones out there, whether they be football related or not.

Now taking into account stories like mine from all across the world, parents, football coaches, and doctors alike are all becoming more aware of the serious risk of concussions from football. There was also a movie recently released about the doctor who took on the NFL about this issue (he also wrote an op-ed recently for the New York Times urging parents not to allow their kids to play football).

Parents are becoming so afraid of brain injury that they won’t allow kids to play the game of football at all. My parents are doing that exact same thing.

I understand why this is, but understand that I have no grudge with football. Quite the opposite. I miss it terribly.

To be quite honest, not being able to play the game that I have always had a passion for crushes me. Since first grade I have been playing football and instantly fell in love with it, and loved ever since.

However, ever since both my doctors and parents told me I could not play football anymore, I’ve been completely heartbroken.

It has now been three years since this all happened, and I still remain heartbroken. Football is not only about giving you a chance to hit other people. It also gives you the opportunity to learn life lessons such as dedication, hard-work, teamwork, and a work ethic.

These four life lessons are important in every day life, whether it be in a classroom, in an office, on a football field, or even in a household. Kids will use these four skills throughout their life.

Finally, there is the worst part of not being able to play football. Not being a part of the team, not being given the chance to make new friends, not being able to share the moments of glory and the moments of sadness, and not being a part of the brotherhood that is a football team.

Regardless of what the stereotype about football players are, football is a sport that unites kids into one, a team, and because of this bond you share with each and every one of your teammates, they become your family. A family that has your back, while at the same time you have theirs, and if a situation comes in which you need somebody, your team will be there for you. This is a guarantee from someone that has not played football in over three years, and yet still has brothers from that very same team.

Playing football has been a true privilege for me throughout my life. I kid you not; the brotherhood, the life lessons, and all of the friends all come with playing football.

I often times sit back and wonder why this happened to me, why I had to go through all of the pain. But then I think, I would go through it all again just to be able to play football.