“If you ain’t first, you’re last,” — originally said by Will Ferrell’s character Ricky Bobby in the movie, “Talladega Nights” — has become a staple in the sports world due to its emphasis on the importance of winning with no consolations.

However, its inspirational bearing failed to carry over to a unique fantasy football league held by 12 Pascack Valley seniors.

The “If You’re Not Last, You’re First” league, inaugurated in 2011, places just as strong an emphasis on not losing as it does winning, exclusively in part to the humiliating punishment faced by whoever finishes in last place. Last year, Jack Rabinowitz was pelted with tomatoes by his league-mates.

“I was just going to get ten tomatoes from each person,” Rabinowitz said. “Unfortunately, I could not fight through the pain so I got seven tomatoes from each person but it was still a pretty bad punishment.”

The IYNLYF league has a $25 buy-in, equating to a pot of $300 of which the winner earns $275 and a trophy, and second place gets his money back.

Additionally, the league follows a half-PPR (point per reception) scoring format, while the playoffs consist of eight teams, which is unusual as most 12-team leagues allow only six teams to reach the playoffs.

“We like to have a more open playoff so a dark-horse team can make a run at it,” Chris McGrath said.

After Rabinowitz was bombarded with tomatoes last year, the league’s 2019 bottomfeeder will be forced to get his ears pierced and show up to school wearing earrings for a week. Such a harsh consequence was not unanimously agreed upon at first; however, each member eventually signed a contract agreeing to oblige by the punishment after a 7-5 vote in favor of it.

“Although I lost last year and I was scared to vote for the earrings, I did,” Rabinowitz said. “I was on board with it and if I lose again, I’m ready to take that punishment.”

Despite some league members remaining hesitant, McGrath is more optimistic about the prospect of the loser having to show up to school in earrings.

“I think definitely in years past it was about public humiliation, and last year was more about pain and public humiliation combined,” McGrath said. “I don’t really know how bad it hurts to get your ears pierced, but I feel like this one is definitely worse than [getting pelted with tomatoes], especially because you have to wear [the earrings] to school.”

The group does not mess around when it comes to the last place punishment, and failure to follow through with it results in permanent expulsion from the league, as was the case two years ago when the loser’s sentencing to a bad haircut went unfulfilled.

“You sign that [contract], pen to paper – we mean it,” Nate Dedrick said. “That’s why he’s out. It’s sad, very sad. But you have to fulfill your end of the bargain.”

On the other end of the spectrum, last season’s IYNLYF playoffs were not without controversy, as the league championship matchup ended in a tie; Dedrick was crowned the winner over McGrath due to greater regular season success. Yet, despite not actually beating McGrath, Dedrick has no doubt as to whether or not he deserves the trophy, which he noted is being kept in a shrine in his room.

“Going into the playoffs, I knew I had a great chance – a great chance – to win it all,” Dedrick said. “I had Saquon Barkley and Davante Adams, two studs. I go to the finals against Chris and I know Chris should not be there. He does not deserve to be there. His record is horrible, he’s lucky he got there. I’m 12-1, I’m a powerhouse, I know what’s up. Yes, it was a tie at 112-112, but when you look at the year, who was 12-1 and who had a horrible record? That’s why I won.”

There wasn’t much dispute from the rest of the league either regarding the manner in which Dedrick won, or more specifically, the manner in which McGrath lost.

“It was probably the greatest thing ever for the league considering [McGrath] lost in the championship the year before,” league member Ryan Thomas said. “Then for him to go through all the adversity [just to] tie in the championship, it just put the icing on the cake.”

“I think we loved [the tie] because the way that Chris lost is just the funniest way for a loss,” member Thomas Farrell added.

While McGrath, for whatever reason, isn’t as giddy about his championship loss as his league-mates seem to be, he doesn’t hold any grudges about the way he was declared runner-up.

“I did think that me tying and losing was kind of fair,” McGrath said. “Although there are other ways for a tiebreaker, I am fine [with it] as I did not have as good of a record [as Dedrick]. It’s very, very tough to swallow, but I think it’s very fair.”

The league’s proclivity for fierce competition doesn’t wait until football season to heat up, as all of its members gather over the summer for a previously-selected game to determine the draft order. The winner chooses his draft pick, followed by the game’s second place finisher getting to opt for one of the remaining picks, so on and so forth. Bowling was the deciding contest in 2017, mini golf in 2018, and a game of Uno this year that took over three hours to complete.

“We were just sitting around a table at Rabinowitz’s house after doing the tomato punishment and we were throwing ideas around,” commissioner Johnny Noone said. “We did bowling two years ago, mini golf [last year], and all of a sudden Trey Herenda came up with the idea of Uno and everyone just loved it.”

The two weeks between the determination of the draft order and the draft itself are filled with mock drafts and strategizing as each member tries to gain an advantage over the others. McGrath claims to have done over 75 mock drafts in preparation for the real thing, which comes just as highly anticipated throughout the league as the season as a whole.

“I look forward to the draft like Christmas,” McGrath said. “Half the league wearing a suit just kind of showed our dedication and how seriously we take this league.”

The league’s members aren’t the only people keeping track of its activity, as the IYNLYF Instagram account (@iynlyf) currently has over 170 followers. The page is run by McGrath and features interviews with each team owner every Wednesday night to go along with weekly standings updates as well.

“I thought that the Instagram account was a great way to give some league updates [and] talk some trash with our press conferences,” McGrath said. “The goal is to have some fun with it [and] become really big throughout the school so people can talk about our league and how dedicated we are.”

In the end, all of the extra time and preparation put into making the fantasy football experience as fun, competitive, and entertaining as possible boils down to 1 p.m. every Sunday afternoon when the league gathers to watch the weekly slate of NFL football games together.

“It’s just nice to [see] the ups and downs of everyone’s emotions,” McGrath said. “Things are thrown, things are said, and it’s just a great time.”