On April 3rd, the Our Minds Matter Club and Girls for Girls Club hosted a speaker event: Pascack Valley High School Math Teacher Charleen Schwartzman, better known as CSchwa, spoke about letting go of what others think in her talk titled “Letting Go of What Others Think.” She included segments related to self-love, struggles with being yourself, and her own personal journey to letting go of what other people think. 

Tomorrow, May 8, in the Lecture Hall, CSchwa will host another talk—through those same clubs—on how rejection is redirection and on how to use your voice.

During her first talk, Schwartzman discussed her journey to finding out how to let go of what others think for over half of her life, and how she believes the answer is to always look within yourself for the answers.

She also discussed that by letting go of other’s expectations of her, she has found herself on an entirely new career path: life coaching. Schwartzman is retiring at the end of this school year and plans to embark on this new path. At first, she described people as being “judgemental” of her new career choice, taking opposing sides to her decision. 

In response to the judgment she’s met in terms of her new career path, Schwartzman later stated, “I’m like, for you, maybe it’s not [the right decision], but for me it is because this feels right… It’s not about them actually… It’s about me.” 

People have grown more understanding over time, and Schwartzman relates that change directly to her confidence in herself. By having a strong sense of self and practicing self-love frequently, she believes that you are more confident in your abilities to judge whether someone’s opinion is really valuable to you or not.

After her first talk, I spoke with her about some of the topics she highlighted.

“I’ve had years of different [experiences].. And what I learned is the majority of the answers are always inside of you,” Schwartzman said. “I’ve had people teach me how to look inside of myself. And by doing that and …trusting my intuition, that’s the big one…my body physically lets me know if something feels right or if it doesn’t.”

“Now, don’t get me [wrong]…, sometimes people offer phenomenal advice,” Schwartzman said. “And that’s where you get to decide. You’re the one who’s siphoning whether or not that’s valuable information to you, if it serves you.” 

Practicing self-love is an easy way to get started letting go of what others think.  According to Schwartzman, students should, “Do things that bring [them] joy.”

She posed some guiding questions: “… what is something fun you can do? You know, whether it’s listening to certain songs, whether it’s going in and hanging out with a friend for even a half an hour… What kind of joy can you bring into your life?” 

Schwartzman explained that when you are confident in your love for yourself, you will be able to fully embrace who you are, leaving others opinions at the curb. 

“That self-love is, you know…again, it’s that acceptance. It’s that confidence …and it’s also letting go and also being graceful with yourself because you’re so human,” Schwartzman said.

She continued that confidence will lead to opportunities and things you didn’t even know existed, because you are being so authentic. Digging deep and finding out why you are so afraid of people’s judgement is one of the most important things to keep in mind. 

“What am I so afraid of? I think that’s a big question…and keep asking more questions,” Schwartzman said. “Because that’s the one thing we don’t do, is we’ll ask one question and stay on the surface. It’s like, no, let’s keep digging.”

Schwartzman relates much of what causes struggles with being your most authentic self to the people close to you passing judgement—such as the friends you keep close. If you just want to fit in, you are not being true to yourself: “There’s a difference between fitting in and belonging. Fitting in means you’re not owning who you are,” Schwartzman said.

“It’s a matter of finding your people who love and accept you for who you are but also elevate you and help you grow to the next level,” Schwartzman said. “So that’s the first step…owning who you are and finding your people.”

Make sure you stop by the Lecture Hall tomorrow, May 8, during lunch to hear CSchwa’s newest talk, “Rejection is Redirection Find Your Voice,” and to gain more insightful tips.